SIGH

New beginings and sad memories. My son has reached a milestone here. . . he is no longer a preschooler, he's an official Kindergartner. . . I always think I spell that wrong. . .is it kindergardner or Kindergartner. . . .I dunno. Any way, his last day was today. He had a class carnival today. Came home with a huge bag of stuff. .. Do you give presents to the teachers? I dunno. I didn't I feel awful about that. . . I will send a thank you card via email. Is that enough? They did take my baby for 3 hours a day. . . Zach's preschool teacher was Eric's kindergarten teacher, well one of Zach's teachers, Mrs. Trinko. She's officially retiring from retirement and retiring again. . .. LOL
Zach says to me last night, "Mom, you know how your dad died? Well, I miss him. I wish he could come back cause all that fun stuff he did with us. . . I wish he were here." I said, "Me too. I miss him a lot too." Touched my heart. I know that death really hits home with Zach. i wish he didn't have a grand parent die while he was so young, but I guess that is the way of life. I just hate tht he had to go through it. It's not been easy for me either. I am still going throug the loss. It is easier now than it was before but it still hurts. I miss my father, I never thought Iw ould miss him this much but I thought for sure I would have had at least 10 to 20 more years of his hard ass shit. . . I thought he would be aroudn for the kids longer. If I had known it was his last Hanukkah, I would have gone. If I had know. . . .famous last words I guess. What do we really KNOW??? When it is your time, it's your time. I just wish we all had MORE TIME. My mother's lawyer has stopped bugging me. FINALLY, I am worried though that this is the calm before the strm you know? I don't want to deal with him at all if EVER. Apparently my father's estate is finished and they are wating to file until August. . . Though WHY wait is beyond me. I hate lawyers...They piss me off so badly. What kind of lawyer is best? A DEAD ONE! HAHAHAHAHAH. ANy way, I am done my rant for now. I know it's beena while since I blogged so you all have been biting at the ankles for me. LOL