Frustration

I got a call friend who was storing things in one of my father's houses. And she must have her things out by May 14, which is better than immediately but it's frustrating to me. She asked if I would be there when she gets her things and I said no. Most foks know I don't say, "NO" unless I really really have a good reason. I can't help her because of the whole lawyer thing. I can't risk something going to the lawyer that I did or took something. So I can't help her and it is disappointing. But I have to put my family first. I told her this. She understood, but I am frustrated by this whole crap that has gone down. I hate that the only way to communicate with my mother is through a lawyer for fear of saying or doing something that will have to go through the damn lawyer. I'm disappointed in my mother for the need to even have a lawyer sending me a letter in the mail. Do I want to deal with my mom? No,to be honest I have kinda written her off. I've had enough of being put down. And if anyone says that I haven't been there for my mother, I ask you to look at all that I did that screwed me in the end! I have nightmares about the lawyer calling or showing up. I have nightmaresthat my mother has called the police on me. You name it I have had the nightmare. I am just so frustrated and ANGRY that I feel pushed away and out by my own mother. But I can't say she's flesh and blood. . .she adopted me but I never felt she was 100% in being my mother. She has yet to tell me how she feels and I guess that is her right. Well, I am done trying to make sense of my thoughts. Comment below.